5 articles

There’s something quietly profound, and often overlooked, about the boundaries and standards that shape our lives. Not always the ones we consciously set, but those gently handed down to us by the people and spaces we inhabit. Whether in work, friendships, family, or romantic relationships, these invisible lines quietly frame what feels possible, what we believe we deserve, and ultimately, how we see ourselves.

There’s a common belief in the wellness world that everything begins with self-love. But I’ve come to learn that it’s not always true. You don’t need to force love upon yourself, or convince yourself that you are worthy, or even forgive yourself first to love yourself. And while an at-home facial or a scented candle might offer a moment of stillness, they aren’t the same as true self-love. I’m talking about the kind of quiet recognition that lives deep within you, the inner knowing that you are already loved, already whole.

As I move through what seemed in the moment to be one of the most challenging yet eye-opening experiences of myself to date, I realise that it is not that this challenge is any better or worse than any that preceded it; it is me who has altered the way that I feel it, witness it and let it control me. I feel awake, even brought alive by this challenge, more so than ever before. I realise that the challenge will soon be irrelevant and that all that has happened was always going to. All that was in my control was my choice of how to let it affect me, how I chose to respond, and how I wanted to be perceived, remembered and heard. There is true power in choice, awareness and understanding.

We look to those around us to lead, show us the way, to be our guides. But why? How many of us have a true mentor that enables us to reach for the stars and develop to our fullest potential. Just because someone holds a more senior position than you in a business does not necessarily make them the ideal mentor.

For many of us, the idea of being with family over the festive season will fill us with either joy or dread. I wonder why these feeling live in the extremes, all families have their complicated histories, but what is it about Christmas especially that makes it so tough for so many. How do we overcome the expectations of Christmas? Its the only un-negotiated social convention.